Chinese customs

Today we learned about 'textbook' Chinese customs that you would find in any book on this subject. However, not everyone likes reading these books, so I thought I would share a few.

Giving presents: In China, the receiver doesn't open presents in front of the giver. They first refuse the gift, then say thank you, put the gift aside, and continue talking to the giver. This signifies that the receiver really appreciates the friendship and not the material thing they received. In the U.S., we like to see people's reactions and sometimes insist that the receiver open it. We also sometimes like to open it in front of the giver to show our appreciation; putting it aside in some contexts could seem like we don't appreciate the effort. (This picture is from Shanghai showing a little stand where you can buy presents!)

Giving business cards: In China, business cards are always given and received with TWO hands face up to the receiver. A little bow can also be included. In the U.S., there isn't really a custom, so we usually just use one hand.

Giving compliments: In China, you always deny a compliment and sometimes put yourself down a little. I've heard an almost fluent English speaker get complimented and say No, no, my English is very poor. In the U.S., modesty has different degrees, but usually a compliment is just accepted with a thank you. Sometimes, an excuse is given, for example, if the previous example was in the U.S., someone may say, thank you, it's only because my dad was an English teacher. Other times (in both China and the U.S.), the compliment is returned with another one, such as thank you, your Chinese is very good as well.

Asking personal questions: In China, it is perfectly acceptable to ask a person how much they make, how much their parents make, if they are married, why they aren't married, and their age. The younger generations are starting to treat these more as private matters and only talk about these things with their closer friends, but it is still pretty common. Topics about sex are only discussed with extremely close friends, and it is especially never discussed between (even extremely close) friends of the opposite sex. In both the China and the U.S., it's pretty acceptable to ask someone what they do and if there is a reason for doing so, how old they are. In the U.S., we have the notion that we can't ask women how old they are, but we can ask men. I haven't noticed anything specific like that here yet. In the U.S. we can typically talk to close friends, regardless of gender, about anything, but we don't usually ask age or marriage unless we are somewhat close and salary is usually only between very close friends.

Eating food: In China, people rarely invite people to their house for dinner. If they do, they make a LOT of food and insist on giving their guests more. They go all out when making a dinner. The guests are expected to try everything (even if they don't like it) and the host can then see what the guests like and offer more. If they want something else, they wait for the host to offer it. In the U.S., it is polite to at least try everything (especially if the host makes a special dish), but guests can usually eat however much they want and eat whichever dish they would like. We don't usually wait for the host to offer more. (This picture is when I ate "hotpot," also known as "malatang." It is a bowl heated with spices and boiling water with two sides (one spicy, one not) and you order what meat and vegetables you want to put in it. Very popular in China!)